I couldn't sleep last night again. I don't know how many days it's been. I want to say we're coming up on the fourth day, but I've been wrong before. I unplugged all my clocks and disabled it on my system, as seeing the time crawl by made everything worse. I could check but I don't really want to know. My face feels swollen and my eyes itch. Last time this happened I woke up sometime later slumped under my desk.
It doesn't matter, I'll take it. Any rest would be a blessing. To kill some time I figured I'd pour over some more IRC logs. I found the chat I've been lurking in lately on an almost abandoned adult forum my crawler picked up. To my delight the IRC was far from dead, with a at least 20-40 daily users. Even better, the public logs were being stored in a public directory, going back over five years.
It was mostly what you'd expect. Embarassing attempts at innuendo, spammers, the desperate, but also some real
people looking for real interaction. The best I found was in the channel called #EmotionalConnection.
This didn't have as many users, but it was real conversations. I must have spent three hours scrolling by. This,
of course, is where I found my lovely Lilly.
[23:46:13] <Liltea_> Hiiiii
[23:46:51] <Desperad0> Hey ;) How r u doin?
[23:47:06] <Hung4F> f?
[23:47:14] <user43> hey hey stranger, howzit goin?
[23:47:23] <Liltea_> Hahaha it's going good
[23:47:36] <Hung4F> f?
[23:47:59] <Liltea_> Lol, yes Hung, im f <3
[23:48:31] <Hung4F> nice :)
[23:48:51] <Desperad0> What brings u here, Lilt?
[23:49:01] <Hung4F> cam?
[23:49:23] <Liltea_> idk, just bored, u?
[23:50:14] <user43> don't waste ur time itz a dude
[23:50:41] <Desperad0> fuck off 43
[23:51:12] <Desperad0> same here, L. Wanna chat?
[23:51:20] <Hung4F> cam?
[23:51:39] <user43> hung, chill
[23:52:08] <Liltea_> i dont have a cam, sorry
[23:52:19] <Hung4F> its okay
[23:52:26] * Hung4F has quit (Quit: Connection closed)
[23:52:38] <user43> fucking finally
[23:52:49] <Liltea_> haha
[23:53:12] <Desperad0> First tiem here, L?
[23:53:38] <Liltea_> yea
[23:53:45] <Liltea_> to this server anyway
[23:53:58] <Desperad0> welcome then!
[23:54:12] <Desperad0> Anything your looking for in particular?
[23:54:48] <Liltea_> idk kinda lonely
[23:55:12] <Desperad0> aww that's no good. We can hang out with ya :)
[23:55:18] <Liltea_> haha thks
[23:55:37] <user43> im telling you its a dude
[23:56:02] <Liltea_> im a girl tho?
[23:56:12] <Desperad0> dude fuck off
Pretty standard fare. Nothing interesting at this point, but even then I had a small interest in Lilly. Idk what it was, she seemed to really want to just connect with someone. Maybe that's why. I know that want. Despite the channel name it was just another sex chat, but I think Lilly was really looking for a meaningful connection. The more I read the more I wanted to know more about her.
[00:22:11] <Desperad0> No one at all? :(
[00:22:51] <Liltea_> No, not really. My mother and brother died when I was 8. It's just me and my dad now.
[00:23:20] <Desperad0> omg im so sorry
[00:23:53] <Liltea_> It's okay. It was a while ago. Car crash
[00:24:10] <Desperad0> Still that's terrilbe
[00:24:33] <Liltea_> wanna know whats even wprse?
[00:24:39] <Liltea_> worse*
[00:24:59] <Liltea_> I was also in the car when it happened
[00:25:20] <Desperad0> L i am so fcuking sorry. That's horrible
[00:25:43] <Liltea_> ty but its whatever
[00:25:56] <Desperad0> you ok?
[00:26:53] <Liltea_> yea like i said it was a while ago. i dont really even think about it much anymore. Theres leik no emotion connected to it. It's just something that happened yknow?
[00:27:01] <Desperad0> damn
[00:27:22] <Liltea_> sorry idk why im even telling you this, you didnt ask :(
[00:27:41] <Desperad0> no no, its okay
[00:27:56] <Desperad0> if talking about it helps i wanna to listen
[00:28:13] <Liltea_> thanks desp
[00:28:53] <Liltea_> um, can I ask you your real name?
[00:29:10] <Desperad0> yeah sure
[00:29:18] <Desperad0> its Micheal
[00:29:29] <Liltea_> thanks Micheal
[00:29:59] <Liltea_> My name is Lacey, btw
Her name is not Lacey. That's what I referred to her as for a while, but I found out it's actually Lilly. I haven't bothered to see if Micheal is telling the truth or not, I don't really care. The conversation kept on for a bit.
[00:41:09] <Liltea_> soo thanks for listening to me Micheal, but...
[00:41:31] <Liltea_> Telling sob stories wasn't the only reason i got on here ;P
[00:41:42] <Desperad0> orly ;P
[00:41:59] <Desperad0> what sort of stuff did you have in mind then?
[00:42:21] <Liltea_> Well one was to tell you the only thing i've been wearing this whole time is my socks xP
[00:42:39] <Desperad0> mmmmm very intersting get up ;P
[00:43:01] <Desperad0> wanna tell me what you look like above the socks?
[00:43:10] <Liltea_> shins
[00:43:23] <Desperad0> XD you know what i mean
[00:43:10] <Liltea_> hehe i know ;P
[00:43:10] <Liltea_> wanna go to private?
[00:43:23] <Desperad0> hahaha yea probably should have done that a while ago ;P
[00:43:23] <Desperad0> after you ;)
[00:43:40] <Liltea_> <3
I couldn't find a way to get to the private chats on this server. The exploit I used last time has been patched on this instance. I don't even know if this server keeps them. But as I found later, something definitely happened in that chat...